Islam and Adat: Kawelasan and Pitulungan

Several times ago, Mr Dodo, my neighbour, gave his daughter in marriage. In Java tradition there are marriage ceremonies. One of them is ngeterke manten (accompany married couple). That is, the parent and family of the bride and some neighbours accompany newly married couple go to house of the bride-groom’s parent after 5-7 days living in house of bride’s parent. (Usually after ijab-kabul and party performed by bride side, the newly married couple live in house of bride’s parent).

Ngeterke manten is term of bride family. For the bride-groom and his family, it named boyongan, namely invite the bride entering the bride-groom's family.

In this program usually the married couple wear the marriage costume and sometimes there are re-party, but the party is performed by bride-groom family.

In ngeterke manten program, the bride family bring some gift, usually foods. Each Javanese has his reckoning about the gift, so did mr Dodo. There were 11 foods for gift. Eleven in Java is sewelas. From word sewelas take word welas (touched). “Hoping God will touch the couple with love,” mr Dodo said.

And repeatedly mr Dodo said that the team must go at 7 o’clock. Why must at 7 o’clock? Seven in Java is pitu. Pitu is taken from word pitulungan (help).”Hoping God will always help new couple,” mr Dodo said again.

That's hope, that's pray of Mr Dodo. It can be understood, because for a muslim, every word is pray. So every mr. Dodo's words in the program is his prays for the couple. Prays were symbolized by tradition.

That’s Javanese. The Javanese always keeps the tradition. As muslim, they obey Islamic Law, and the Adat Law too.