Sunday, April 18, 2010

Islam and Adat: Kawelasan and Pitulungan

Several times ago, Mr Dodo, my neighbour, gave his daughter in marriage. In Java tradition there are marriage ceremonies. One of them is ngeterke manten (accompany married couple). That is, the parent and family of the bride and some neighbours accompany newly married couple go to house of the bride-groom’s parent after 5-7 days living in house of bride’s parent. (Usually after ijab-kabul and party performed by bride side, the newly married couple live in house of bride’s parent).

Ngeterke manten is term of bride family. For the bride-groom and his family, it named boyongan, namely invite the bride entering the bride-groom's family.

In this program usually the married couple wear the marriage costume and sometimes there are re-party, but the party is performed by bride-groom family.

In ngeterke manten program, the bride family bring some gift, usually foods. Each Javanese has his reckoning about the gift, so did mr Dodo. There were 11 foods for gift. Eleven in Java is sewelas. From word sewelas take word welas (touched). “Hoping God will touch the couple with love,” mr Dodo said.

And repeatedly mr Dodo said that the team must go at 7 o’clock. Why must at 7 o’clock? Seven in Java is pitu. Pitu is taken from word pitulungan (help).”Hoping God will always help new couple,” mr Dodo said again.

That's hope, that's pray of Mr Dodo. It can be understood, because for a muslim, every word is pray. So every mr. Dodo's words in the program is his prays for the couple. Prays were symbolized by tradition.

That’s Javanese. The Javanese always keeps the tradition. As muslim, they obey Islamic Law, and the Adat Law too.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Married by Accident

Someone sometimes makes a mistake. Makes a sin. Big sin. As done by Ayik and Soni (the both are not true name). They are love couple. They were blind because of love so could not think over. And the next event….it is easy to guess. Yes, Ayik was pregnant and they had not married.

Although pregnancy of Ayik had brought shame on the big family, but Ayik’s parent and Soni’s parent agreed to give their children in marriage. However their parents would not shamier anymore if the love child born out of wedlock.

The marriage done Ayik and Soni is called married by accident (MBA), marriage done because the women pregnant out of wedlock.

Ayik and Soni are fortune live in Indonesia. If they live in Islamic country that subject to Islamic Law, they would be punished stoning or lashing 100 times because of zina (adultery). (Look Quran Surah AnNisa section 6-9). Unfortunately there is no stoning or lashing punishment in Indonesia.

Indonesia law even regulate about MBA. MBA in law term of Indonesia is called Kawin Hamil. According to article 53 Compilation of Islamic Law, a woman who pregnant without husband can married with the man whom made her pregnant. The marriage can do without waiting the baby born first. After the baby born, re-marriage is not necessary.

Of course, existance of the regulation is not meant to correct sex without married. Not at all! Adultery, however, is wrong, big wrong! Big sin! Adat Law or our society has its way to punish adulterers. Sometimes the punishment is heavier, painier, shamier than State’s punishment.

Moreover existance of kawin hamil regulation, I think, to protect the women and children. You know somethings bad often happen to women, from deceit to rape.