When a Mother Give a Lesson to Her Son

Every parent obligates to give affection, good care and good education to their children. And sometimes, children make a naughtiness, and the parents almost always forgive them.

What about if the naughtiness tends to crime? The parents will give different reaction each other. Some people will forgive their children directly and because of shame they will try in order to no one knows about their children’s crime. But the others prefer to give punishment to the children before forgive them.

The last option maybe descripted on action of Ayu Azhari, an Indonesian actress. She has indicted her son (15 years old) of stealing her US$ 50. Accompanied by her husband, Mike Tramp, ex-White Lion vocalist, Ayu reported this case to police.

On an interview, Ayu said, “It’s not about money. That ‘s not the first time. I just want make him repent it.” She also said that she has much love for her children, but on other side she also must give strict decision.

Now, Ayu’s son is free after he regretted and promissed to not do it.

A Story in Period of Prophet Daud and Prophet Sulaiman

The old story below is a story that jugde’s consideration (qarinah) can be a proof. It happened in era of Prophet Daud and Prophet Sulaiman.

There were 2 women quarrelled each other, to get a child. The first woman was rather young, and the other was rather old. Prophet Daud decided to win the old woman because of her confession as the true mother.

Prophet Sulaiman who joined in the court, put a sword and pretended ready to split the child. He said, “It’s fair”.
The rather old woman agreed with spliting. But the rather young woman said that she gave the child to the other voluntarily providing the child won’t to split. If Sulaiman split the child, the child would die.
Prophet Sulaiman decided to give the child to the rather young woman. Because she is the true mother of the child. A mother will never let her child die.

Polygamy and Mutilation

For man that committed polygamy or has intention to do it, must be careful and must have good consideration. The polygamists really must give justice for his wives, and never make his wife/wives broken-heart. Because once a polygamist make his wife/wives annoyed, it can result in a fatality.

At least that was happened to Karyadi. The case is bomming in this week.

Karyadi, 53 years old, is a polygamist. He has 4 wives. Slice of his body was found in Kalibaru, Kramatjadi, East Jakarta. Yes, he is victim of murder and mutilation.

From investigation, police found proof that Karyadi killed and mutilated by Muryani (53 years old), his 2nd wife. And she has been arrested.

Sunday, October 12, Karyadi was struck by gas tank, then killed and his body was cut in 14 parts. Then Muryani threw away slices of Karyadi's body to some different places.

Motive of killing is heartsick. Knowing her husband married again, Muryani was jealous and very angry. She felt be betrayed. On an interview, she was asked about her feeling after killed her husband. She said, no regret.

Until now, this case is still processed by police. And all slices of Karyadi's body have not found yet.

The case above is lesson for polygamist or man intended to commit poygamy. Wife's permission is very, very important. Fair to all wives is absolute attitude. But fair for someone does't always mean fair to the other. Unfair husband can break wife's heart. And a painful woman sometimes can be very dangerous.

Human Trafficking with Guise of Adoption

In Bogor, an adopted parent from Kalimantan was forced to return the baby they adopted. The returning must be done because police suspects there is trafficking case behind the adoption process from Yayasan PH. While Rohani, the blood mother’s baby, said that she was compelled to release her twin babies for Yayasan PH because she had no money to bear.

In Gunung Kidul, Sarimin and Suparti also were compelled one of their twin babies to bought by somebody else, because they could not cost hospital for bear’s fee.

Cases like Rohani or Sarimin-Suparti often happen in this country. Poor life sometimes results in someone make wrong decision, include submit her child for the other. Unfortunately, unresponsible people will always be there to take advantage from the poor. They also take advantage from the rich that has no child. They take the child from the poor by giving much money or something as compensation, then submit the child for be adopted by the rich by taking compensation.

Of course it’s a crime. It’s a human trafficking with guise of adoption…. I think this case will not happen or at least can be reduced, if there is care (much more care) from government, society, and related parties.

What’s your opinion?

Adultery is not Adultery?...

This week public of Indonesia is shocked by blue videos on internet. It’s about sexual activity that probably done by 2 public figures, Mr. AP and Ms. LM. And now, public is reshocked by 2nd video on internet, that done by (probably) Mr. AP and Mrs. CT. I use word ‘probably’ because those haven’t be proved, although an ICT expert said that it’s 90% true.

If those video true, can Mr. AP, Ms. LM, and Mrs CT be indicted?

According to Criminal Law Code (Kitab Undang-undang Hukum Pidana/KUHP) article 284, adulterers can be prisoned maximum for 9 months. But, still according to this article, an action can be called adultery (perzinahan) if done by people that one of them or they all binded in wedlock. An unmarried man and a married woman, or an unmarried woman and a married man, or a married man and a married woman that they are not husband and wife. And indictment only can be done if there is complaint (pengaduan) from one that gets disadvantage because of the adultery.

On the video of Mr. AP and Ms. LM (if true they are), according to Criminal Law Code, their behavior is not adultery, because both Mr. AP and Ms. LM are not in wedlock with anyone. They are unmarried people. So they cannot be indicted with the article 284 (adulterous article).

It’s different from video of Mr. AP and Mrs. CT (if true they are). Because Mrs. CT is someone else’s wife (married woman), so can be said that she and Mr. AP commited adultery. They can be prisoned if Mrs. CT’s husband indict them. But…, on an interview, he looked not believe that his wife on the video. So, probably will not be indictment of adultery.

That’s Indonesian Criminal Law that product of Dutch Colonial. They are lucky (once, if true they are), because in Indonesia (except in province of Nangroe Aceh Darussalam) Islamic Criminal Law is not in forced. So they are avoided from 100 lashings or stoning to dead. Because, according to Islamic law, sex without marry or free-sex is adultery (zina). And Adat Law is too. And public is too….

Controversial of Polygamy Club

This week public of Indonesia is shocked by a polygamy club, Global Ikhwan, established in Bandung, West Java. The club original from Malaysia is controversial. It has 300 members from some countries, including 39 members from Indonesia. A famous ustadz and a restaurant businessman are mentioned as member of the club.

Many people especially women and activists disallow this club. Some people anxious about social perception as if polygamy is common and easy. As if there are persuasion to commit polygamy by the club. As if polygamy is campaigning. They worry because establishment of the club is performed openly.

The worry of women and activists is understood. They just want to protect women and children. Because many domestic violence cases are backgrounded by polygamy. The victims are not only women but children too. As happen to Budi (not true name, a true story) many years ago. Budi must worked when he was very young. He must worked because his father after having a new wife did not give living cost to Budi, his mother and his younger brothers. So that Budi worked to help his mother, to cost his school. Actually Budi ever asked his father responsibility, but he only got physical violence from his father.

Actually not all polygamy result in bad effect. There are also happy families with polygamy. Notwithstanding polygamy has become a sensitive matter for Indonesians. Mereover too many cases backgrounded by polygamy presented press. Divorce, domestic violence, even murder.

Concerning with restless caused the polygamy club, Moslem Canonist Council of Indonesia (Majelis Ulama Indomesia, MUI) has not decided about it. Meanwhile Minister of Woman Affairs, Linda Agum Gumelar said it better returned to Marriage Law.

Underage Marriage 2

October 13, 2009, in Pengadilan Negeri (District Court) Syech Puji has freed. Syech Puji is accused in enderage case. He accused of breaking Children Protection Law because has married Ulfa. (Read Underage Marriage)

He has freed because Judge agreed his exeptio. Exeptio is defence not including the main case.
In Putusan Sela (chink decision), Judge of District Court valued accusation is not accurate, not clear, and indistinct (obscure libel), so that null and void.

Of course freedom of accused resulted in many protests. Some people worry about appearing the same case with the other young girl in the future. It is not about marriage law anymore, but also about protection of children. Yes, Ulfa is still a child. Still 13 years old.

This case is still processed. Public Prosecutor will appeal to Pengadilan Tinggi (Appellate Court).

Underage Marriage

Several times ago public of Indonesia was created a sensation by controversial marriage. Syech Puji Widianto, a calligraphy businessman from Semarang, have married Lutfiana Ulfa (13 years old)as 2nd wife.

The underage marriage case boomed after a NGO surfaced it and press blew up it. Many people commented. From religious figure, activist NGO, law expert, public figure, gynecologist, until high school students. Even Komisi Nasional Perlindungan Anak (National Commission for Protection of Children) interfered with this case.

Syech Puji has accused of breaking article of underage pornography (pasal pencabulan anak di bawah umur), and breaking Children Protection Law (Undang-undang Perlindungan Anak) too. But he never feel guilty for married Ulfa, because, although still 13, Ulfa has akil baligh, has grown into an adult. And he do not want to divorce Ulfa.

Is Syech Puji guilty? Is the marriage valid?

According to Islamic Law, a marriage is valid if there are bride, bride-groom, wali nikah, 2 male witnesses and ijab kabul. In Islam, requirement of girl to marry ia akil baligh, and Ulfa has akil baligh and she said no coercion in her marriage. So that according to Islamic Law, the marriage is valid, and of course Syech Puji is not guilty. But in Indonesia requirement of akil baligh is not enough. Indonesian Law (State Law) regulates border of minimum age for bride and bride-groom. Based on Undang-undang Perkawinan (Marriage Law) and Kompilasi Hukum Islam (Compilation of Islamic Law), requirement for a bride is at least 16 years old and for bride-groom is at least 19 years old. If border of minimum age is broken so that the marriage is voidable.

The problem is the marriage performed siri (nikah siri). Nikah Siri is performed according to Islamic Law without State Law, so that no registered, no proof, so that the marriage can not voidable. To force Syech Puji to divorce Ulfa is not a wise decision. Ulfa is too young to be a widow. And I think divorce can influence Ulfa’s mental growth. Moreover, in a press conference Ulfa ever said she loved Syech Puji and she did not want separated from him.

What will happen to Ulfa and what will happen with this case? Until now this case is still processed.