Breaking Egg in Javanese Marriage and its Values

Javanese marriage is marriage that fulfilled by ceremonies. Ingredients that used in the ceremonies are to much and sometimes unique. Even chicken egg is used in a ceremony.

One of unique marriage ceremonies of Javanese tribe is connected to egg is ‘ngidak endog’ (breaking egg) that continued by ‘wijik’ (cleaning). In the ceremony, the bridegroom must break a chicken egg by his feet. Then the bride cleans the bridegroom’s feet that dirty by flower water.

Those ceremonies contain traditional values. Contain good hopes. Breaking the egg symbolizes that the couple’s aura has faded sexually. Bride cleans bridegroom’s feet symbolizes wife’s submission to husband. It also symbolizes that good behavior will effect good result too. It’s a hope that from the marriage will be borne good children that will dedicate their selves to parent, family and country.

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(Image from Google)

Sungkeman, A Form of Respect for Older

Sungkeman is unique tradition in Yogyakarta and Center Java, Indonesia. Sungkeman is from word sungkem, activity to ask blessing by kneel down and kiss someone’s hand. It’s part of Java culture. It usually committed in marriage ritual and in Idul Fitri (Ied, Ied-ul Fitr). It’s a touching moment.

As a ritual in marriage program, the bride and bride-room commit sungkeman to their parent. They purpose to ask praying and blessing of the parent. Whereas sungkeman in Idul Fitri is done not only to parent, but to the other that older. The other that older, like older brother/sister, grandfather/grandmother, uncle/aunt, even neighbor that close.
Read more: Sungkeman, A Form of Respect for Older

Rights Connected to Inheritance

If one dead, he/she usually leaves some properties (inheritance) to his/her family. The properties (inheritance) then become his/her family’s right as heir. And if the heir is consist of more than one person, so it must be shared.

Can the inheritance shared directly? No. Before it split, the heirs must consider rights that connected to inheritance. The right connected to inheritance is obligation of the heirs. May be deceased has had unpaid debt when he/she lived. Or may be the deceased leaved testament connected his/her property.

Before divide the inheritance, the heirs obligate to use the property for:

1. pay care of deceased’s corpse, from bathing until funeral

Corpse management since bathing until funeral can use wealth of inheritance, as long as not over, and it’s not contravene with Islamic value.

As a traditional-religious society, every aspect of life in Indonesia never can be separated from tradition (adat), including death. There are ceremonies concerning death.

Like in Yogyakarta. There is Tahlilan, is ceremony that some people pray together for the deceased.They read tahlil, surah Yasin and pray in order Allah forgive and bless the deceased. The family that leaved, usually perform tahlilan in 3 days or 7 days in a row. Then perform it in 40^th, 100^th, and 1000^th days after day of death. After the the praying end, the family give some drink and food to the people. And when the people go home they bring berkat. Berkat is a gift, usually meal, as an appreciate from the deceased’s family to the people that pray for deceased.

Of course the ceremony, including drink and food, that presented before and after funeral, are not tought in Islam. So if the ceremonies done as tradition, the cost can not be burdened to inheritance. Inheritance only can be taken for caring corpse.

2. pay deceased’s debt

After taken for carrying corpse, inheritance can be taken for pay deceased’s debt. If the amount of the debt is bigger, so the the paying is sufficed by inheritance. If the creditor more than 1, so each creditor only paid according to comparison of amount of debts. Example, Mr. X dead and leave debts to Mr. A Rp. 2000, to Mr. B Rp 5000, to Mr. C Rp. 3000. So total debts is Rp. 10,000. Remains of inheritance after taken for caring corpse is Rp 9000. It’s not enough to pay all creditors. So all creditors are paid by comparison 2:5:3. So Mr A get Rp. 1800, Mr. B get Rp. 4500, and Mr. C get Rp. 2700.

The heir have no obligationto cover remainder of debts from their own wealth. But if the heir want to cover it, that is better. That’s assumed as kindlines of heir, not legal obligation…. But, the heir or the family should pay the debt, because if the deceased still has debt she/he will defended in akherat. She/he cannot enjoy result of her/his ibadat/amal (kindliness) before the debt is paid or the creditor sincere it.

3. Doing testament (wasiat)

Testament is last one’s desire relation with property that she/he leave. The last one’s desire must principal than heir’s right.

Wasiat is limited maximum 1/3 of inheritance (after taken for paid caring corpse and debts). Wasiat must be done without anyone’s permission.

How if amount of wasiat more than 1/3 of inheritance?

• According to Jumhur Ulama (most ulama): wasiat more than 1/3of inheritance is legal, but implementation of surplus of 1/3 depends on permission of all heirs. If all heirs permit it, surplus 1/3 can be done. But if a part of the heirs permit it and the others not permit, so wasiat only done that agreed.
• According to Ulama Dhahiriyah: wasiat more than 1/3 is null, although all heirs permit it. Reason: Hadist Nabi stipulated that wasiat by 1/3 of property is much.

What about wasiat for heir?

• According to Jumhur Ulama: wasiat for heir is legal but the implementation depends on the other heir. It’s like wasiat more than 1/3.
• According to Ulama Dhahiriah: Wasiat for heir is null, because Hadist Nabi teach that no testament for heir.
• According Ulama Syi’ah Imamiah: wasiat for heir is legal and can be implementated without permission.

Adoption in Adat Law (2)

In the last posting, I said that Indonesian has been familiar with adoption since centuries ago. There are some reasons why a couple or family taking one else’s child.

In Adat community, purposes of adoption are:

• to continue family lineage
• as a friend
• to fish for the foster parent can have the blood child.

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Some people believe that by adopt one else’s child they will get their own blood-child. How can? As a religious-traditional community, they believe in reward and sin. If someone make a kindness he/she will get reward from God. The form of reward can be the born of child. On the contrary, if someone make a mistake (criminal), she/he will get a sin. The sin can be difficulty to pregnant.

As a religious-traditional community, adoption in Indonesia results in probabilities:

• Private relationship between foster child and his/her blood parent and blood family is broken. Here, foster child is given status as blood child
• Foster child still has private relationship with his/her blood parent.

In Adat Law, adoption proceed doesn’t need written proof. It’s enough by certain actions, the child has been assumed as adopted child. These certain actions are:

• care for the child and give education until adult
• circumcite the child (if male)
• to give the adopted child (after adult) in marriage.

Adoption in Adat Law (1)

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Adoption is an action to take somebody else’s child into one’s family, making him/her legally one’s child. Adoption term is not strange in a community. Since thousands years ago, community of Indonesia has known adoption. It’s done by a couple or family that has no child.

Indonesia is a country that consist of thousands islands with thousands ethnics. Every ethnic has its own law. That’s Adat Law. So Adat Law or Adat in a region may be different from the others. For example, Balinese Adat is different from Javanese Adat, including about adoption.

In Bali, adoption process must be done clearly (terang). It’ s done by religious ceremony, by announcement, and witnessed by public figure and religious figure, in order that status of child is clear. After ceremony, the adopted child become full member of foster family. So his/her private relationship with his/her blood parent and blood family is broken.

In South Sulawesi, foster child still has private relationship with her/his original parent (blood parent) and original family. So she/he can inherit from her/his blood parent. She/he has no right to inherit from foster parent. But foster child can get property/goods from foster parent by hibah (gift) or wasiah (testament). That’s Adat Law in South Sulawesi about adoption that influenced by Islamic values.

Adoption stipulation in Java is different from Bali and South Sulawesi. According to Javanese Adat Law, foster child still can inherit from his/her blood parent and foster parent too. Alhtough can inherit from foster parent but there is limitation over there. The foster child only can inherit from foster parent limitated on harta pencarian, no harta pusaka (heritage). Harta pencarian is property that get husband and wife as long as marriage. Harta pusaka is property from husband’s family or wife’s family. Harta pusaka is just for blood lineage.

So in Java, foster child called ngangsu 2 sumur, take water from 2 wells. Mean, foster child get 2 advantages, can inherit from his/her blood parent and foster parent too.

B. Ter Haar said that right to heir of foster child in Java that limitated only on harta pencarian, because in Java adoption is not family’s business, and implementation of adoption is not terang (clear). It’s done without ceremony, without witnessed by public figure and religious figure.

Islam and Adat: Kawelasan and Pitulungan

Several times ago, Mr Dodo, my neighbour, gave his daughter in marriage. In Java tradition there are marriage ceremonies. One of them is ngeterke manten (accompany married couple). That is, the parent and family of the bride and some neighbours accompany newly married couple go to house of the bride-groom’s parent after 5-7 days living in house of bride’s parent. (Usually after ijab-kabul and party performed by bride side, the newly married couple live in house of bride’s parent).

Ngeterke manten is term of bride family. For the bride-groom and his family, it named boyongan, namely invite the bride entering the bride-groom's family.

In this program usually the married couple wear the marriage costume and sometimes there are re-party, but the party is performed by bride-groom family.

In ngeterke manten program, the bride family bring some gift, usually foods. Each Javanese has his reckoning about the gift, so did mr Dodo. There were 11 foods for gift. Eleven in Java is sewelas. From word sewelas take word welas (touched). “Hoping God will touch the couple with love,” mr Dodo said.

And repeatedly mr Dodo said that the team must go at 7 o’clock. Why must at 7 o’clock? Seven in Java is pitu. Pitu is taken from word pitulungan (help).”Hoping God will always help new couple,” mr Dodo said again.

That's hope, that's pray of Mr Dodo. It can be understood, because for a muslim, every word is pray. So every mr. Dodo's words in the program is his prays for the couple. Prays were symbolized by tradition.

That’s Javanese. The Javanese always keeps the tradition. As muslim, they obey Islamic Law, and the Adat Law too.